Frequently Asked Questions

What do you mean by “ears as shells”?

What do you mean by “ears as shells”?

There is a trend in romance novels. It’s more than just the heroine fainting or the hero being classified as a rake. Time and time again while reading I ran across the ear being referred to as a shell. Little passing descriptions like “he gazed longingly at the shell-pink whorls of her ear” or “he spoke low into the shell of her ear, his warm breath tickling her senses” shouldn’t be much for pausing at considering the everything else about the scene. But over and over and over it popped up until I couldn’t help but notice it. A few times would have passed by, but dozens? And in some books more than once. It’s so prevalent that I’ve set myself a rule with my own writing. Any book that has a sex scene in it must have one (and only one) reference to the ear as a shell. The most I’ve ever seen in a book is four and that’s three times too many in my humble opinion. One day I’ll spend more hours of my life than I’ll ever get back tracking down the origin of the trend. For now, though, just know that it’s a thing and if you’re a writer it is your solemn duty to continue down this magnificent — if odd — literary course.

You cover mostly historical romances. What is the social hierarchy?

You cover mostly historical romances. What is the social hierarchy?

I’m so glad you asked! For years I had to keep my own cheat sheet of the English Peerage because it never gets brought up in-book. You just kind of have to figure it out. And when you leave England for France or Venice or Timbuktu it becomes even more confusing.

UNITED KINGDOM, including ENGLAND, WALES, SCOTLAND, & IRELAND

  • Duke/Duchess
  • Marquess/Marchioness
  • Earl/Countess
  • Viscount/Viscountess
  • Baron/Baroness
  • Baronet/Baronetess
  • Knight/Lady

Laird does not mean what you think it means. It isn’t a title of nobility at all. It’s simply, for lack of a better term, the lord of the manor, the landholder with the fancier house that has a lot of crofters under him.

For the most thorough, yet very simple and easy to understand, chart of the way each rank should be addressed check out >>this page<< on Wikipedia.

PRE-REVOLUTIONARY FRANCE

  • Duc
  • Prince – Not the prince, who is known as the Dauphin
  • Marquis
  • Comte
  • Vicomte
  • Advocatus
  • Baron
  • Vidame
 NAPOLEONIC FRANCE

  • Prince – Again, not the prince.
  • Duke
  • Count
  • Baron
  • Knight

What the heck is “The Tiffany Problem”?

What the heck is “The Tiffany Problem”?

When you think of the name Tiffany, you probably think of 1980s cocktail waitresses or one of the cheerleaders where you went to high school. And if you ran across the name in an historical novel, whether romantic or not, you would immediately be ripped out of the scene. It breaks the suspension of disbelief. Because Tiffany is not an old name. Or is it?

“The Tiffany Problem” is well known in writers’ circles because it is, well, a very real problem. And there isn’t a good solution. Because, you see, Tiffany is in fact a very old name. Older than many others you might think of that were actually invented by writers. For example:

  • Jessica – William Shakespeare, “The Merchant of Venice” 1605
  • Miranda – William Shakespeare, “The Tempest” 1611
  • Vanessa – Jonathan Swift, “Cadenus and Vanessa” 1713
  • Cora – James Fenimore Cooper, “The Last of the Mohicans” 1826
  • Evangeline – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, “Evangeline” 1847
  • Thelma – Marie Corelli, “Thelma: A Norwegian Princess” 1887
  • Fiona – William Sharp, used as a penname starting in 1893
  • Wendy – J.M. Barrie, “Peter Pan” 1906
  • Charmaine – Maxwell Anderson, “What Price Glory” 1924

And now you’re thinking, “If the oldest name on that very incomplete list is from 1605, just how old IS Tiffany?” Which is a very, very, very good question that isn’t easily answered. But the absolute best explanation is a short video made by one of my favorite YouTubers CGP Grey. He spent six months and I don’t know how much money researching “The Tiffany Problem” and produced three videos about it. This is his wrap up video. It’s less than nine minutes long and is well worth the watch. >>CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO<<

The much bigger problem with “The Tiffany Problem” is that, well, that it’s indicative of a bigger problem. Tiffany is just the most famous and oft-cited example. There’s a book series I really like where a character is named Kendra. The name Kendra is so old that its origins are disputed and I haven’t yet found a source for its age. But the first time I read the first book it ripped me right out of the setting. What about Candace or Audrey or Chloe or Amanda or Jeremy or Brian or — wait for it — ROXANA! Every one of those pre-dates 1800. So, just remember that the next time you see a heroine named Alyson, her mother might have been a fan of Chaucer who used that very name in The Canterbury Tales.

Are there rules about the kind of books you’ll use for the podcast?

Are there rules about the kind of books you’ll use for the podcast?

The number one most important rule is that, unless there are extenuating circumstances, I will never use a friend’s book. I don’t care how over-the-top or eye-roll-worthy it is, I will only use books of people I don’t personally know. While everything about the podcast is done tongue-in-cheek and for the fun of it, I feel like that tests the bounds of friendship just a little too much. That being said, if I happen to become friends with someone after I’ve used their book, I will not take the episode down. They know what they’re getting into being my friend just as much as my guests do.

Also, I don’t typically read erotica. These days the lines are pretty blurry and I’m no prude; I readily call a lot of my own writing trash and depending on the day it isn’t exactly an Amish romance. But, speaking in broad and stereotypical terms, the storylines and character archetypes found in erotica don’t appeal to me. There might be a few here or there in the future that change my mind, so I’ll never say never. It’s just improbable.